someone help me please!! i really cannot take it already. my mind is gonna explode with all the tots in there and i cant seem to sort it right.
i am so gonna die for my quiz tml. still at chapter 6 out of 9.. and i have absolutely no mood to study for the rest of the night. haiz. juz hope i dun do too badly so tt i can pull it up with the final exam. act i have already sorted out my tots le, but my mum juz told me one super shocking sentence tt made me so vexed now again. she told me to spend v day with her so tt dear can get the msg clear tt we should keep a distance. maybe i misinterpreted her msg from the previous few conversations, i tot she meant tt we can still be together as a couple but juz dun be too involved. but i was totally wrong. she told me juz now tt her judgement will not be wrong and tt dear is not the right one for me. the very next sentence seriously made my heart stop beating the minute i heard it. she said if i still choose to be together with dear, my rs with her will start to drift apart. my heart broke tt very second. can someone juz tell me wat to do now?? so i take it tt i am supposed to choose between her and dear now? how do u expect me to make tt choice.. both are the ones i love...... but u know tt i will still choose my mum in the end. knowing tt doesnt make me feel a tiny bit happier, becoz tt means i can only be very good friends with dear. and i dunwan to be juz very good friends with dear. i dunwan to imagine how it feels like to be all alone again, without the love tt dear always showered me with... i dunnoe who to talk to about it coz i know the minute i think abt it, my tears will start flowing (provided tt i still have tears left). and i hate to let ppl see the weak side of me. i always try to appear so strong and happy infront of others. but now, i really feel so tired. i trust my own judgement (but who will trust me), but how can i possibly choose dear over my mum. my judgement might be right but i juz cant follow it.
i am tired. i juz wish to stay away from everybody and be alone in my own world. so juz let me be..... i dunwan to make the decision.