talked to my mum juz now again. i am feeling much better now but i still cant help but think about wat she said and what the future holds for me. she told me tt wat she said to me ystd was for my own good. she has so high expectations of me because she thinks tt i have the capabilities. one thing tt she said tt really touched my heart is tt i have always been her pride in life. she wants to prove to others tt children raised from a single parent family can be as good, if not better than all other ordinary kids. and i have always been the evidence tt she showed to others.
but still, she thinks tt i can find someone better and i shouldnt be too emotionally involved. after i calm myself down from ystd's sadness and maybe anger, i tried looking at things from her perspectives. i know she wants me to lead a comfortable life next time and a right partner will allow me to do so. she is so sensitive in this area becoz she knows the hardships tt comes with a broken marriage. she told me how she felt abt my visit to dear's house and it suddenly struck me tt she made a valid pt. she said tt it wasnt polite for his mum to ask me about my father on my very first formal visit to their house. act it was quite true. i was quite stunned at tt moment too and i tot maybe his mum din noe about my family background, but later dear told me he got tell her about it. it was kinda awkward to ans such que given tt it was our first formal conversation, but i have to show respect for her as an elder and as my dear's mum. so in conclusion, i guess my mum's words will definitely affect me but i will still continue with the rs, even thou i know tt her words will keep ringing in my mind. i still love dear as much, but i guess our rs now is at a pretty good level. i dunwan to bring it down becoz of wat my mum said, but i oso dunwan to overdo it becoz my mum's words keep repeating in my mind.
juz a sidenote, to my mum (although i know she wun see it) : i really love you alot and i know you love me the most too. since i was young, we have been by each other's side all along. becoz my sis are twins and they always have each other's company. so i was always the one to acompany u (and vice versa). thanz for telling me how u felt and i will definitely make u proud of me forever! thanz for going through all the hardships to let the 3 of us be where we are today. i know it has been tough, but dun worry. it has always been my goal and dream to let u lead a luxurious life after i graduate! u r the best mum ever. =)