when the wall of doubt slowly builds up, it takes alot of courage to climb over the wall and face what is on the opposite side of the wall. although what i see might be a lovely scene, there will still be chances that it might be a heartbreaking one. so there are only 2 solutions out, either i muster up the courage to climb over the wall or u try to remove the bricks of the wall. the first one i am still trying, but tts quite a huge psychological barrier, especially when i already mustered up enough courage to climb over the wall twice but twice i was blown back down with disheartening scenes. u said it was the last chance tt time, but hey, guess wat, u are asking for a last chance now again. so when will be the last? the second one i know u told me u already removed the bricks, but i cant even muster enough courage to juz take a step over to ur territory, because i have fears tt the wall will be back up again and then i wont have a way back. i know u promised me tt the wall will nv be up again but there is no certainty for everything in this world. it's especially hard when the wall of trust and faith is lowering while the wall of doubt is rising...
u said u will love me till eternity, and yet stuffs like this happens. it makes me wonder what if one day ur love for me starts to fade away, what worst things could happen. junie said something today tt struck me as a pretty true fact. there's nothing such as eternity love in this realistic world, what if one day i do something tt upsets u alot alot, are you so sure tt ur love for me will nv change. sometimes loving too crazily can be scary too, it gives a false sense of security. tts wat i feel from u sometimes, putting so much into a rs can seem quite scary. we are still young, though not very, i really cant believe tt u will nv ask a gal for her hand if u r single again. u cant be so sure abt everything right, things do change.. i am really not tt perfect.
i oso considered the happy and lovely moments we shared together, so i am not juz trapping myself in the unhappy moments. they were so sweet and they once and again pulled me to the positive side of our rs. but everytime i see u, i get reminded of the issues and the tots go running again. juz cant help it.
for now, i stil dunnoe which way our rs will go and i dunnoe wat measures can be taken. so maybe we should juz cool it off for awhile while i take some time to sort things out. very busy during this period with exams and stuffs, dun really have the extra energy to deal with all these. i am sorry if i am dragging this issue for v long but i really believe tt love needs the support of trust. without trust, love is juz on the surface and dun really have any meaning.
u are not confused now, but i am....