blogging in school now. waiting for elective to start at 430pm. supposed to be studying! ppl ard me are all studying la. stressed. it's the third day of sch man!
anw gt inspiration to blog abt sthing suddenly so here i am.
sch started on mon and i heard alot of interesting gossips! gt happy and sweet ones but oso gt sad and heartbreaking ones. now i understand wat is "absence makes the heart fonder" from one of my friends. pretty sweet but i know tt LDR is hard to maintain. need alot of commitment and time management. all these stories gt me thinking abt my own story. still not ready to make a decision yet. but i wld want to soon...
factors pushing me on:
1. the person
2. the feeling (but i dunwan it to be only coz u r a nice guy, i noe u dunwan it too)
3. the company
factors holding me back:
1. china (LDR)
2. mum
3. studies (my topmost priority now)
4. commitment (still not confident enough)
5. past memories (some resemblance as u know)
6. still dun dare to let go and juz love
but i think the major major factor is still china and mum ba. i know if there is a will, LDR will still work out but i am still uncertain about it. i have a strong urge inside me telling me to wait till i come back from china but another side of me, i dunwan to be ambiguous for so long. it is unfair to u. i know i am still holding back on alot of things but i dunwan to give u the wrong signal. such a dilemma.
i dun used to be liddat when it comes to relationships. i used to be so straightforward and decisive. but maybe after all the past relationships, all the different memories are stirring up my thoughts. i m tking so long because i dunwan to hurt u in any ways in this entire process, and tt is because i care about u and dunwan to c u hurt again. juz like last time. maybe it's a yin1 ying3 from tt time. i dunwan to regret my decision again.
maybe i will talk to more ppl... sorry if i seem weird today. thinking abt alot of stuff... when i appear indifferent abt sthing, it's not bcoz i dun care, it's bcoz i dunwan myself to be one of the factors tt will hold u back in achieving wat u want, bcoz it's still not 100% certain between us.
girlfriends lets meet up soon leh!! wanna talk to ur and juz enjoy the company.. this sun anyone??
Sunday, August 3, 2008
New blogskin~~~~
Thanz to my dearest xiaomei wanping!! great job done.. i love the coolness with a pinch of sweetness. great balance.. yeah.. finally gt a non-template blogskin.. i juz told her i wanted something more emo so maybe black.. den she came up with this! i wld have been so lazy to go figure all these out by myself.. so a BIG hug to xiaomei again! love ya... really touched by ur effort.. tot tt time say say only.. u really did it.. lol. =)
a new skin for a new academic year! how appropriate is it. tml is the start of year 3 for me. time really flies. i will be flying to beijing in a year's time. can u believe it.. woah.. got alot of things to think about but for now, studies is the top most priority..
got so many things to blog!! but got to prepare for school tml... maybe i will blog on tue (free day)..